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gee thanks just bought it
[ She's nervous, of course. Nervous as anyone else be in this situation after making a decision, because there is still a quiet, hesitant part of her that questions if this is the right choice to make at all. Yes, she knows that she might never get another chance, that he might vanish from this world entirely and she won't ever have said what she has wished to say to him, but the risk to actually saying it is that she might turn everything they've built together on its head. She could ruin them. she could ruin what they have, this pleasant status quo, this relationship where they are just friends.
Because the choice she's made is to actually tell him what she feels for him. Because she knows that in her heart, she won't ever be satisfied.
Isn't it ironic, that she would fall for someone that, a month or so ago, she said they were both students to the great lessons of love?
Mythra had been learning too this entire time.
And Mythra had fallen in love with him from afar, just as easily as Pyra had. They are the same person, after all. ]
Come with me...!
[ It's springtime in Chroma, with its completely blue skies and wisps of clouds and the budding warmth of a promising sun upon her skin. She's taking him by both hands, leading him towards the forest and into it-- one of the more well-traveled paths, of course, where the dangers are less and the various washes of color are more vibrant. There's a clearing at the end of this path that others have found before, one that's probably well known by now to be dusted with flowers of all sorts, as if it had once been someone's garden years ago. Yet even if he may have been here before, she's urging him as if she has something new to show him. ] This way, this way!
[ Oh, and how she smiles as she pulls him along; there's almost a hum in her tone, an added lightness in her step, and a glimmer of light in her crimson eyes as she looks at him. And perhaps he's noticed by now how this is the way she often looks at him, that this sort of look is something he might have caught on occasion and she would simply color thereafter and quickly look away.
...And should he have been especially perceptive, that this look is something she's only given to him. ] It's a secret, so I can't tell you what it is until we get there.
Because the choice she's made is to actually tell him what she feels for him. Because she knows that in her heart, she won't ever be satisfied.
Isn't it ironic, that she would fall for someone that, a month or so ago, she said they were both students to the great lessons of love?
Mythra had been learning too this entire time.
And Mythra had fallen in love with him from afar, just as easily as Pyra had. They are the same person, after all. ]
Come with me...!
[ It's springtime in Chroma, with its completely blue skies and wisps of clouds and the budding warmth of a promising sun upon her skin. She's taking him by both hands, leading him towards the forest and into it-- one of the more well-traveled paths, of course, where the dangers are less and the various washes of color are more vibrant. There's a clearing at the end of this path that others have found before, one that's probably well known by now to be dusted with flowers of all sorts, as if it had once been someone's garden years ago. Yet even if he may have been here before, she's urging him as if she has something new to show him. ] This way, this way!
[ Oh, and how she smiles as she pulls him along; there's almost a hum in her tone, an added lightness in her step, and a glimmer of light in her crimson eyes as she looks at him. And perhaps he's noticed by now how this is the way she often looks at him, that this sort of look is something he might have caught on occasion and she would simply color thereafter and quickly look away.
...And should he have been especially perceptive, that this look is something she's only given to him. ] It's a secret, so I can't tell you what it is until we get there.
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[ At first, when she comes to meet him, he feels an anxious feeling itch at his heart. He wonders if, perhaps, something has happened -- some new event that has occurred that requires them to face it head-on.
At first, he thinks that he should psyche himself up. He thinks he needs to prepare mentally for whatever odd event is happening so that he can lend his full assist.
But his concerns that is what is going on fade quickly. It's simply in the way that she pulls him along -- not hurrying like there is a crisis, but gentle and full of quiet excitement. ]
Don't forget to look ahead. If you trip, what would happen?
[ He'd catch her, of course! But what would his heart do upon catching her? It already feels warm and full and bright just hurrying along with Pyra now.
It's a feeling that from watching how the light dances through her hair; seeing how she smiles when she looks back at him; feeling her hand in his own. Shen Qingqiu knows that he is beat -- he knows that he loves her.
And he has known it for a bit.
His feelings are bottled up and kept somewhere safe. Somewhere that he can look upon them fondly like a person would look upon some masterpiece in a museum. Beautiful to gaze upon, but obviously nothing to touch or own.
To say that he's a coward would be accurate, but it's more he loves her enough to want to support rather than direct her who to love.
She's smart and capable. She's clever and wonderful. The wonderful is added as an important description, thank you. But has she had someone confess their feelings? Would she agree to them simply because he is the first? He doesn't want that -- he wants her to find her own happiness rather than impose his own upon her. ]
Somehow, it makes me think like you've made a secret picnic. [ He squints just a little as he teases. He allows himself to squeeze her hand a little, smiling at how delicate it feels in his loose grip, but knowing that she is anything but.
Pyra, I'm happy to have met you. I've always said "lucky," but that sounds wrong. I'm happy. I'm not blessed ... I'm overjoyed. No matter what, I'm not going to become the kind of person that regrets falling in love, that regrets and hates the person that I fell in love with. How could he when he feels like loving her saved him a little bit? ]
Is it much further?
1/2
But if he insists that she shouldn't walk backwards as she pulls him along, then she'll make a quick change, swift enough so that he may not notice it until it's been done: Pyra releases his hands to link her arm in his. There, now they're walking side-by-side, and she's in no danger of tripping over her heels as she tugs at his arm to lead him. ] It's just a little past this tree and...
[ ...And he'll find that she's led them to a clearing.There's nothing special about it other than it's one of the few places within the forest that's not overrun with weeds. Like just about everything in Chroma it has its patches of colorless features-- a bush without green, a tree without brown-- but the flowers within the field are spotted with vibrant color depending on the bloom. Tulips and lilacs are in season, complemented by the bright yellows of the daffodils, and even among the flowers that have no color, their white petals rustle in the breeze with the rest. It would be a good place for a picnic, now that she thinks about it, and she silently chides herself for not preparing something of a meal for him in the first place if he's going to indulge being led into the forest by her this much.
It is also a good place to be alone.
It's here that Pyra finally releases him, stepping forward into the field and twining her hands behind her back. From behind he might see a tenseness in her shoulders, a hesitation in the sigh she gives. She suddenly feels frozen in place, the tightness in her chest gripping her as doubts begin to trickle back into her mind. She wills them away with a shake of her head to herself, a swallow.
Alright, this is phase one.
Now for phase two. ]
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But hasn't she told him all before-- many times before, in fact-- of just what she admires about him? No, just what she adores about him? Of all of his qualities that drew her to her in the first place, his dignified appearance, his apparent nobleness, his honor, how scholarly and wise he seems, how kind he is, how caring he is of others, of how he believes in the goodness of others as well....
No, she can't just tell him what she feels.
When she turns back to him, she brings a hand to her lips, and smiles apologetically. ] Ah... I... have one more request.
Do you mind closing your eyes?
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But even as he has those thoughts, he lifts his other hand so that he can rest it over hers. A brief touch of his lightly sliding over her knuckles before he let his hand drop down to his side. Ah, that traitorous right hand of mine. Nothing I can do about it.
When they reach the clearing, he can't help but look around in surprise. He really hates the woods -- even though, he knows that there are places that are relatively safe within it -- but still, he has not gone wandering around in it to find places like this. Just goes to show you that you end up missing out when you think a place is total shit. His head gives a little tilt as he looks to all the flowers, seeing how they look even more vibrant against the dull, greyed-out colors. ]
Did we do this? [ He can see why she wanted to show him the cleaning; it's a clear indication of everything that those brought to Chroma has been doing. Even the woods are slowly being filled with color. His head tips up, looking through the branches toward the soft-blue sky.
But when he looks back at her, she seems nervous? Why? ]
Close my eyes? [ He feels one or two question marks sprout from the top of his head, but realizes that Pyra didn't want to just show him the flowers blooming. She wants to tell him something, maybe? Something too embarrassing to actually see him looking at her. Something too embarrassing, for her? ]
I don't mind. [ Rather than wonder what it could be, he decides to listen to her request instead. Closing his eyes, he feels an pang of nervousness. Don't be worried. Whatever it is, this teacher... will do his best by you. ]
1/2
Taking a breath, she steps closer to him. With his eyes closed, he'll be able to hear that step, the soft crunch of the grass beneath her feet, as well as the sigh she gave before moving closer. He will also be able to feel her warmth as well, the gentleness that she exudes translating into that energy as if she might be giving him a hug without having to wrap her arms around him.
That's what she wants to do with him. She wants to bring him closer, she wants her arms to embrace him, to keep him close and feel his warmth. ] I... said I wanted to show you something.
But actually... [ He'll hear the smile within her voice, the fondness within it as she speaks of him and whatever this is. ] I wanted to give you something as well.
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She reaches up with one hand, fingers first brushing back a long, dark strand of his hair from his cheek, her nails lightly raking against his jawline with the motion. Her hand moves down, slowly, slowly enough to be noticeable, his neck, before settling upon his shoulder, applying some pressure there so that he might know to lean lower for her just-- just enough. Just enough so that their faces are close enough that she will notice everything else she's seemed to miss from having not been this close until now--
Like how smooth and soft his skin appears, like how long his eyelashes are, like how his lips...
He should feel her breath upon his skin at this point. He should also probably know by now, know what may happen next, with their faces close and her hand upon his shoulder and her body near his, and she's giving him that chance for all of this to register to him because she wants him to have that out if he needs it.
But if he doesn't draw away from her in that critical, tense moment... then she will with find her breath, her voice once more. She will find her lips brushing along his as she speaks three words she's already said to him before, but this time they're spoken with so much more emotion, more meaning, more-- everything, a lightness within her chest, a promise within her heart, a hope within her soul: ] I.... I love you.
[ And then after all that, she will bring her lips to his. ]
1/2
His fingers flex a few times as he wishes that he was a little bolder. He wishes that he was the kind of protagonist that would reach out to pull her in close. What a shocking experience that would be! For the both of them! Hey, hey, didn't I say that I'm fine with being the supporting character here?
Honestly, he can't trust himself for a second. Give him one inch and he's already thinking of upping his role.
The tips of his ears still turn a little red as he hears her draw closer. His shoulders lift a little and he leans forward a little unconsciously. Give me something? What could that be? He forgets for a second that he has words; he forgets that he could actually ask her what she means.
It's just ... eyes closed, having her be so close to him, he wants to take everything in and not interrupt at all. What a lovesick fool I am! I'm the worst! I'm the worst! ]
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Her fingers soft against his face -- he's absolutely certain that she could hear his heart race. Dangerous, dangeorus. Shen Qingqiu tries to tell himself that she's probably going to put a flower crown on his head. Yet he holds onto the feeling of her soft touch, her soft breath; he leans forward as she silently indicates. I love you.
His eyes fly open when he hears those same words aloud. How is he supposed to keep them closed when he suddenly panics that he might have said something so dangerous out loud. But it wasn't him; it was her.
She brings her lips close to him. He really has lost.
He kisses her back. Of course, he does. His hands lift to frame her face between them as he can barely believe that she said what she did, that she performed such a confession. He can't believe it. He pulls back just so he could kiss the corner of her lips, her cheeks and tip of her nose. Really, I'm a mess. I'm a mess. I'm sorry.
Normally, wouldn't this be a deep kiss in the forest and he's covering her face in kisses instead! Actions speak louder than words. But I have words! I have them! ]
I love you. I love you, too. [ An apology sticks to the back of his throat. It's something like wanting to say that he's sorry that he didn't say something sooner, but who cares? It's said now. To ruin something like this -- to have her have to reassure him, he really can't do that! ]
I really love you.
1/3
But then... he kisses back. And not only does he kiss her back upon her lips, he kisses the corner of her mouth, he kisses her cheeks, her nose, each one setting the energy within her fluttering further, her cheeks warming as the surprise mixes with a dawning happiness. And then-- when he says what she's already said to her-- I love you, and repeats those words three times to echo each time he's placed his lips upon her,.... she's looking at him breathless, captivated, blushing.
She's never realized how lonely she has been until now, until finally having him hold her in his arms.
The happiness she feels within her chest is warm and light and invigorating, a wash of feelings and light and life that she could never hope to describe besides using a single word: love. What a powerful word, what a powerful feeling; she feels as if could do... just about anything for him. That if he wished a mountain moved, she would. That if he wished for all the gold in the world, she would give him it. That if he wished to create his own world, she would make it for him.
That realization should be scary, in some way. He has her, he has her completely, and yet he doesn't know what sort of tool he now holds within his hands.
..In his arms. ]
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Pyra closes her eyes and basks in his warmth, her giggles like the butterflies in her stomach escaping her entirely. She's so happy right now, she could cry. No-- she is... tearing up when she next looks at him, saying nothing but having a hand upon his cheek as her gaze meets his. She wants to kiss him more, many more times: one for how beautiful a person he is, a second for how beautiful his soul is, a third for his kindness, a fourth for his wisdom, a fifth just because his jawline is so tempting, a sixth because of his wit, a seventh because he is compassionate, and the eight, ninth, tenth and all the way up to the hundredth kiss would just be because loves him.
Her touch upon his cheek pulls away so that her touch is softer, barely there, as if she's holding onto something immaculate. ]
....Astonishing.
[ She called him something of the before, didn't she? Dazzling. But it's not until now that she know what that really means. ]
You are... Your light is astonishing. [ It probably sounds silly to call him that; obviously he's not literally glowing. But she's seen how his kindness has shone. ]
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Pyra is going to thrown her arms over his shoulders for a great, big embrace. Watch yourself, she's pretty heavy. ]
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[ He is able to be so dazzling because he met her. Because he has been able to forgive himself little by little due to knowing someone cared about him. Certainly, there are others -- dear friends that he holds dear -- but he did not want her to worry; he did not want her to think of him and be filled with concern.
Rather than find his light because she is some salvation for him, he finds it so she could smile more; so she could breathe a little easier in the sunlight; so that she could love more without anything holding her back.
And he didn't realize that he'd gain anything back beyond seeing her happy. But that would have been enough. Shen Qingqiu wonders if he really is a trembling masochist that is only content when he's wearing himself down to nothing! I'd like to strike that from my character traits, please!
As he finished making his joke, he is aware that Pyra has thrown her arms over his shoulders. No, she's thrown herself at him. Oh, hey -- gravity works! He already is using his skills as a cultivator to catch their fall in the most grandiose manner possible. The petals that have fallen from the flowers are filled with his own passing energy. They flow back and underneath him as they fall backwards onto the ground.
A nice soft landing! Though, it is more like landing on a feather pillow. Petals fly everywhere as they settle onto the clearing. He lets out a very small laugh, as he holds her close to him. Shen Qingqiu starts to think to himself, but decides the thoughts he have are better shared than kept to himself.
His voice is soft, almost a whisper. ]
See? I'll catch you... I'll catch us like you'll catch us. I'll also do what I can to make sure that neither one of us ends up hurt for the other. [ He lifts one hand to cup the side of her face. ] That was our promise, right?
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She’s over him now, face close to his, a hand just to the side of his shoulder while the other mirrors his by stroking along his cheek as he speaks to her and reminds her of their promise. Pyra’s hair is cropped short, but she’s close enough that it drapes over her ears and brushes along the side of his face like a curtain. She leans into his touch, enjoying it, enjoying his warmth, and... the rest of her does the same, lowering her torso upon his, feeling the rise and fall of his chest against hers. It feels so surreal— but why? It feels surreal because she’s never this much happiness and joy before, which makes her question exactly what sort of life she had been living up until she met him and he helped her find this happiness. ]
That’s... that’s right. Our promise. [ Pyra lowers her face, resting her forehead against his as she closes her eyes. She still feels like both laughing and crying at the same time. She finds her voice again after a moment drawing away just by an inch to look at him again. It’s like she can’t decide if she wants to be close enough so that she can hold him to her or just far enough so that she might see his smile....
Her fingers curl in his hair, and she feels that same... anxious, but excited feeling from before within her stomach as she looks over him. ]
Shen Qingqiu.... [ She’s speaking with giggles and laughter and disbelief still on the tip of her tongue. ] I don’t think you realize— [ Pyra’s hand reaches to take his off of her cheek, lacing her fingers between his and then pressing his hand back to the ground beside his face. ]
You... have me.
[ He has her heart, he has her power, her blessings, her protection, her life, all of her— and now...
Now he has her mouth upon his, sealing these words with a kiss, one filled with just as many emotions she’s experiencing right now: passion mixed with relief, gratefulness blended with desperation, joy woven with the regret of not saying any of this sooner.... and love, and appreciation, and the feeling that he is so precious to her that she’d do anything he’d ask. If only a kiss like this could show him all that that he means to her, because she doesn’t want to stop either telling him how much she loves him or showing him. ]